Do you know how many times that phrase is used? Too many for some reason. This upcoming week has made me realize that I’ve become to reliant on “winging it”. So reliant that I don’t even know what winging it truely means anymore.
Since when do I not prepare for anything when I was taught to be prepared for anything cuz life throws you a crapload of astroids. (Woot space reference). I leave it all to the last minute and get stressed. To de-stress I have started telling myself that you’ll be fine just winging it, when really no I won’t.
The quality I know I can have in my work, in my life just isn’t there. Completely attributed to winging it. While somethings don’t need to be put through the process a billion times over again, everything should be atleast looked at once because there are always areas to improve on.
Once again, I find I’m questioning myself, my actions, my thoughts but mainly, my decisions. It is not a very nice realization, I was getting used to being confident with what I had decided to do this year. However, things change.
I’m thankful for that short period of confidence. I just wish it would remain. The terrible part of all this is that I can feel it slowly slipping away, slipping away to a point that I do not even know how to approach, let alone get a grip on. I feel like that little kid who is trying to reach the cookies on the shelf they can’t reach, but they’re just oh so close. That kid who finally figures out to climb up on a kitchen chair. Only difference is, I can’t find any chairs.
Wow. If only I could live off of making depressive metaphors for my life. I’d be set for life. How many teenagers wouldn’t be?!
Note: I should have typed this at the very beginning, however, I’m writing it here, so too bad. If you were a previous reader of my blog, I’d appreciate it if you forget about this specific blog post. This isn’t my style, but I needed to post something seeing as how I’ve been completely absent on here for two weeks. WELCOME TO MY TEENAGE LIFE, please wipe your feet and get out of my head.